I don't like to travel.
I don't like groups of people.
I have had bad experiences with groups of women.
I was worried about messing up singing/playing in front of people.
Did you notice a common thread? Did you notice that every one of those sentences started with the word "I"? These are the sentences that have caused me stress over the past few weeks.
As I pulled out of the driveway to go to the retreat on Friday, I realized that I was so overwhelmed with ALL of the stressors, any one of which would have had me freaked out, that I was actually rather calm! Maybe numb is a better word, but I was dealing with it nonetheless.
I arrived at the retreat center warmly greeted by the retreat committee members, staying in a room alone (whew!) with just a few there to start out with handling the set up.
Once we all arrived and everyone was checked in and completed with the registration process it was time for me to lead the group in song. By this time I'd had an epiphany. This was not about me! This was about a group of women looking forward to change, and my opportunity to help them focus on God.
Halfway through the first verse I realized these 40 women were singing so loudly, they could barely hear me playing! Well, if they can hardly hear me, they certainly can't hear me make any mistakes, right?! J
Things only got better after that. Playing, singing, pure joy!
Certainly we had some exciting experiences…games were played, food was consumed, laughter occurred, firefighters were called (false alarm that rang for 1 hour-ugh), hearts were moved. Wow!
Why was I so worried? Oh, yes, I lost my focus and used the word "I" too many times.