Home. Sweet. Home.

I don't like to travel.

I don't like groups of people.

I have had bad experiences with groups of women.

I was worried about messing up singing/playing in front of people.

Did you notice a common thread? Did you notice that every one of those sentences started with the word "I"? These are the sentences that have caused me stress over the past few weeks.

As I pulled out of the driveway to go to the retreat on Friday, I realized that I was so overwhelmed with ALL of the stressors, any one of which would have had me freaked out, that I was actually rather calm! Maybe numb is a better word, but I was dealing with it nonetheless.

I arrived at the retreat center warmly greeted by the retreat committee members, staying in a room alone (whew!) with just a few there to start out with handling the set up.

Once we all arrived and everyone was checked in and completed with the registration process it was time for me to lead the group in song. By this time I'd had an epiphany. This was not about me! This was about a group of women looking forward to change, and my opportunity to help them focus on God.

Halfway through the first verse I realized these 40 women were singing so loudly, they could barely hear me playing! Well, if they can hardly hear me, they certainly can't hear me make any mistakes, right?! J

Things only got better after that. Playing, singing, pure joy!

Certainly we had some exciting experiences…games were played, food was consumed, laughter occurred, firefighters were called (false alarm that rang for 1 hour-ugh), hearts were moved. Wow!

Why was I so worried? Oh, yes, I lost my focus and used the word "I" too many times.

My confession

In an earlier blog, I had indicated that I was going to be coordinating the worship music for a women's retreat in January. After hiding the fact that I was diligently practicing and depending on a miracle, I decided to lead the music myself. This is a stretch for me, but over the past few weeks I have been practicing my guitar daily, building confidence, working at learning new songs, building confidence, conferring with a fellow worship leader, building confidence, and lo and behold, I am really thinking I can do this!

My dad is visiting with us for a few days. It was practice time for today. "Oh, Dad, did I tell you what I'm doing? -yes playing and singing in front of about 40 women. I am going to do my practicing in the room right here with you, ok? "

Then it started. The uncontrollable giggling. Not the funny ha-ha type giggling mind you, but the …Oh crap…What have I done!?...nervous…what's a guitar?...I'm dying here…giggling…

Uh, oh. I found out the hard way that public playing is going to take some actual practice. Perhaps if I invite my neighbors over under the auspices of signing up to join a pyramid scheme they won't be too offended to find out that they are actually being subjected to an impromptu concert! It will work! Yes, YES! I am sure it will!

Loving Well

My church is putting on a women's retreat in January. I was asked to serve on the committee as a worship coordinator. We decided it would be good for all of the people on the committee to preview the DVD that we are using for our teaching. The teacher is Beth Moore. She is rather well-known in Christian circles and so I was kind of excited to do one of her studies. I started the DVD, out came the southern drawl and the staged intro materials.

UGH! I thought! This is going to be a loooong weekend.

Then it cut to the part that was recorded in an arena in front of 19,000 women. Let me tell you this woman can speak! I watched four hours of teaching and it was moving!

I am really excited about the retreat. I think God is going to change some lives!

Trunk or Treat

Tonight we had "Trunk or Treat" at church. Usually, this is done from the trunk of people's cars in the parking lot. Tonight we had inclement weather and so we used the contingency plan which was to set up with card tables in the reception hall. This worked out great and I must say was warmer and dryer so I was pretty glad! The crazy thing is that people go all out decorating their space for this event. Last year (our first) we were blown away by how festive people could get the trunk of their car looking. This year was no exception. I decided to utilize candles in my décor, so I wandered around the house gathering up all of the scented jar candles that I have stashed in most every room. The highlight of my night was when one of the kids stopped by for candy, paused, and politely said, "You have the smelliest table of all!"

Very amazing things happened in church this morning, but I will leave that story to Pat as I was serving in another area of the building at the time.

Busy weekend!

This weekend was probably the busiest weekend I have had in quite a long time.

Our church hired a new youth pastor over the summer. With new people come new ideas, new directions and new...paint! We spent the weekend transforming the youth area. It was quite an exciting project. The boys and I and one of Ian's friends went in on Friday afternoon to start. The room started out this color.

It ended up these colors!!



Yes, I know this looks quite scary and I must admit I was a bit sceptical when I saw the swatches, but it looks amazing! I will try to get a shot of the room. They completely rearranged everything and makes ME want to be in there!

After painting until 9pm on Friday, we came home and crashed. Then the boys and I got up and were downtown by 8:45 to walk.

As soon as we finished I headed back to the church to paint some more. Ian had his friend over to celebrate his birthday and then it was up early to sing this week at church.

Needless to say, I crashed for about an hour when I got home on Sunday afternoon.

Pat made it home safe and sound and now I am ready to start the week, although I really feel like I need a vacation instead!